Just a couple of terms, for your interest, first of all! We have some terms that are, perhaps, a little different to yours!

Scalie or Mermaid   ................. Road's&Traffic Officer..... Like your DOT
                                                   blokes

Bar-b-que                 ................. RTA Weighing station

Hot Plate                  ................. As above

Yowie                       .................Mythical creature like your Bigfoot

NB. Ten hour breaks WERE required if you exceed log book times.

    There ARE a host of others, but these will suffice for this VERY true yarn!
 
 

    I better explain something, first! Rates USED to be reasonable GOING to the west from the east, but bloody woeful on return, because there was NOTHING produced there, so there was ALWAYS an excess in empty trucks there, waiting to load back! You know, the old supply and demand thing??? The idea of my boss was to make the spondula on the way OVER and get fuel money coming back! Hell, I was young and stupid and (for legal reasons I say) MIGHT have bent a rule or two!

    I was running to Perth (Western Australia) from Sydney (New South Wales... EAST Coast) and then topping up with man hole covers in Wagga Wagga. Lemme say this, whilst I would NEVER ADMIT to being deliberately over-weight, it could be said that I had observed my truck with more than DOUBLE the legal requirement on it's back.... ummmm for DEMONSTRATION purposes, you understand! I mean, a man would NEVER try and get away with anything, would he! Especially twenty years or more ago when there were less ummmmm rigid policing of the laws!  :-)

    I used to run quiet on the CB, but LISTEN lots, so was pretty aware of what was going on! The trick was to go to ground when you heard the man was about, or if someone was stupid enough to mention he was heavy on the damned CB! Idiots! Didn't they reckon the scalies listened?????

    Anyway, at a place called Ceduna, in South Australia, there was an RTA bloke called "Nobby" Clarke. I am bloody sure that Nobby KNEW I was ummmm... you know what I mean, taking MINOR advantage of the situation, but he never COULD catch me. Every time he would pull me over it would be with a 100% LEGAL load that they were paying BIG $$$ for!

    This particular trip, he missed me by five minutes on the way OVER to Perth with ummmmm a big one on and KNEW it!

    Now, at that time, in Western Australia you were required to KEEP logbook hours, but NOT fill one in, as that state didn't have log books. Once you crossed the border it was out of Nobby's jurisdiction and he could do bugger all about it!

    I was on my way back with a light load of cubic freight on! It is a bloody long way from Perth back to South Australia (check it on a map...follow the Great Eastern Road back from Perth to Adelaide). I got to a little town called Kimba, and, being pretty tired, I decided to jump in the bunk and have a snooze! In about five minutes, I was dead to the world, sleeping like a baby!

    BANG! BANG! BANG! There is this loud thump on my door! Frightened shit out of me, as I was STILL out in the boondocks in a little patch of dirt that was an excuse for a parking bay! I thought a bloody Yowie was at the door!

    I yelled out, "Bugger off! I am trying to sleep"!

    "It's the RTA".

    "Bugger off! I am trying to sleep", I said. "Don't you bloody scalies ever sleep?"

    "Driver, I want you to get out of bed and follow me into town so I can weigh you", said Nobby.

    "Bugger off! Can't a man get any bloody sleep! In any case, I am out of hours  on my book"!

    "Driver, we can do this the hard way or the easy way! Either you get into that seat and follow me into town to weigh, or I will have you arrested and locked up".

    Well, being young and inexperienced, I didn't know WHAT powers he had or what he didn't have, so I dragged myself out of the cot and proceeded to follow him into town! At that time, LEGAL Gross Weights were 38T and I was about 25T Gross! Anyway, I figured that since I was awake now, I might as well get going!

    I drove on to the bar-b-que (which was one of those "open when he wanted it to be" ones and NOT permanently open) and stopped and waited for him to flag me on! Nothing happened! I thought to myself, this blokes a Nark! I am so bloody light weight he can't possibly be trying to make out that I am heavy, so I got out of the truck and went into the weighbridge house and asked him if everything was okay!

    "Yeah! Your weights are okay, son", said he.

    "Can I go now?", I asked.

    "Nope! You are out of hours on your book. You told me so. You better pull over there and go back to sleep and if I DON'T see that bloody truck of yours STILL there in 9 hours from now, LOOK out!"

    I get the funny feeling that Nobby might have won that round!  <grin>

    I hope you liked this true yarn!

Copyright © Ian (Indy) Rosser
Po Box 140
Griffith NSW 2680
Australia
8th August 1998
(Updated 20th August 2023