Some years ago, I mutilated one of A.B. (Banjo) Patterson's poems to create
a parody for Amateur Radio, where we were encountering deliberate jamming
of a repeater. Below is the result!
GLOSSARY OF TERMS
| RI | Radio Inspector |
| DF Loop | Tracking gear |
| Linear | Amplifier |
| Peeler Man | Police Man |
| Bally | Saves me offending with swearing! |
Subject: Giantspark ( The Man From )With apologies to "Banjo" Patterson.
The Man From Giantspark
It was the man from Giantspark
That struck the repeater clown
He scanned the channels in every park
He scanned them up and down
He listened here, he listened there
'Til he was like to drop
Until at last in great despair
He sought a Radio Shop
"'Ere sell me one of them little beams
Or p'raps a DF loop
I'll find this bally repeater fool
Even if I have to snoop"
The repeater clown was small and flash
As most fools usually are
He wore a strike yer fancy sash
He smoked a huge cigar
He was a humourist of note
And keen on ree part tee
He laid the odds and kept a tote
Whatever that may be
And when he heard our friend arrive
He whispered here's a lark
I'll blow his handheld completely up
This man from Giantspark!There were some sandbaggers
That sat on the repeater side
They're eyes were dull, they're heads were flat
They had no brains to hide!To them the loonie passed the word
His voice amongst the noise
"I'll make this yokel's voice all slurred
Just watch me all you boys"He raised his power, his brow grew black
He made an awful tone
Then jammed his index finger
Upon the microphone!!
Upon the frequency
It made a dreadful sound
It made his hair stand right on end
And his eyes stick out quite round.
No doubt it fairly took him in
This man from Giantspark
He'd never heard such an awful din
As he staggered in the park!He fetched a wild up country yell
'T'would wake the dead to hear
As he quickly grabbed his headphones off
That were stuck from ear to earHe struggled gamely to his feet
And swung the loop about
And zeroed in on the domicile
That hid the repeater lout
He lifted up one hairy paw
And with one tremendous clout
He landed on the loonie's jaw
And knocked the loonie out!He set to work with tooth and nail
He made the place a wreck
The kicked the loonie's linear
And smashed it on the deckAn RI that heard the din
Came in to see the show
He tried to run the bushman in
But he refused to go
And when at last the loonie spoke
And said" "Twas all in fun
"Twas just a harmless little joke
A trifle overdone"
"A joke!", he cried
"One night I'll catch
This mongrel shark
At home in Giantspark"And now while round the clubhouse floor
The listening hams all gape
He tells his story 'or and 'or
And brags of his escape"Them repeater clowns what keeps the tote
By George I've had enough
One tried to send an awful note
But lucky my ears are tough!!"And whether he's believed or not
There's on thing to remark
That repeater loons are scarce about
Way up at Giantspark!!
Poem destroyed by VK2XB (that's me) 16/6/93 at Gosford.